Determination

Determination.
She wants to make it up that hill of doom.
Wants to stay on her horse just a little longer.
Wants to show him how she truly feels.

Determination.
Creeps around you like a warm blanket during winter.
Walks all over you making you do things to the extreme.
Freaks out and explodes.

Determination.
That funny feeling you get when he looks and talks to you.
Builds up then finally let's go.

Determination.
The strongest feeling
Willing to let you accomplish so much in life.

Determination.
Speaks out and lets it be heard.

Just Like Her

I want to be just like her.
My older sister
the perfect child,
the popular,
the pretty one.
The one that never gets made fun of
Hurt inside
Bullied
The one that is never afraid to walk through the halls
and walk to class.
The one with the gorgeous boyfriend waiting for her after class.

But no.
I'm not like her.
I am the disposed child.
The geeky one out of place.
The ugly icky one.
The onethat is made fun of.
Hurt inside.
Bullied.
I am the one always afraid to walk through the halls
and walk to class.
And I am the one with the aggressive strong monster waiting for me after class.

If I were more like my sister my life would be simple and pain free.
Wonderful!
But no...
I'm not like my sister.

Go Ahead...Take Another

Take one
it will make it all better.
Still, you feel hurt and depressed,
like your torn to pieces.

Take another.

Another.

Did she just kill your insides...
you will never forgive her.
So hurt you are confused and worn out.
You want it all to stop so all you do is just
take one.

Take Another.

Another.

Now you love being that dreadful hurt soul inside
just so you can take another.
It is addicting and strong but you don't care
as long as it make things feel better.

Take Another.

Another.

Now she notices there is something different about you.
You look happy and you feel happy.

But your not.

You took another too many times.
You made it worse and killed your insides.
And you hurt yourself and confused yourself.
You addicted yourself and you killed yourself.

All because you took another.

I Am From

I Am From

I am from a true country boy always hunting and fishing,

the on who took me to the old farm every Saturday.

From the hay bale throwing

and the cornstalk field looking for golf balls

with my over-excited sister.

Running up and down the barn,

scaring the cows in their tiny stalls.

I am from the great home-cooked meals every night:

beef stew,

chicken,

mashed potato.

I am from the noises and smells of chickens, pigs, and cows.

From the dog who will save me

if I'm ever in danger.

I am from the old running shoes that get older every season.

The pain and injuries,

the rest and the exhaustion.

From love and hate...

boyfriends and best friends.

The cool walks at night while the sun is setting.

I am from the little mobile home,

the hot summer days jumping under the gopher-shaped sprinkler,

going to the beach every birthday,

the crazy sweaters sent by a crazy old grandmother.

I am from always being able to find the positive side.

But no matter what,

I am from something beautiful.

Fearless

Don't fear anything because I am here for you.

Never go crazy looking around you because I am your conscience.

I will help strengthen you...

Then soon enough I will help you completely.

Let me lend you a hand.

If there is one thing that you should know about me it is that I can be shy, nice, mean, quiet, loud...every emotion possible just like everyone else. I have fears from my past that really shaped me. When you first get to know me don't think of me as the "quiet" girl or something. Take time and learn more about me. Don't be judgy and judge a book by its cover. I like to be the one that everyone likes and the one that everyone wants to talk to and come to for advice for. It's hard for me to come out of my shell and open up and trust the people around me because I'm afraid of only one thing...that people talk.